ever have to sit down and tell your brain to shut the hell up?  it's quite annoying. college is fun, our town is fun, but i still don't know how i feel about everything. 

man, shut up you stupid thoughts!

who knew that a ton of bricks hitting you would be this heavy?

my brain is about to explode into a thousand little pieces. too many things are crashing into me all at the same time, and i honestly can't keep up. what the hell is one supposed to do?

what the hell is anyone ever supposed to do? what they feel, what is right, what is PC, what they want, what they think will make them look better? we are all left picking and choosing from these options, striving to create an image of ourselves that we can stand to look at in the mirror.

i am changing. i can feel it, and i hate myself for it. i thought i had reached a pretty good plateau of being, but my current situation is causing me to warp my former self. and i don't like that. i shouldn't be changing who i've always been, should i?

who knew that a ton of bricks hitting you would be this heavy?

something new

a whole bunch of new goin on right now. new practices for DT, new german exchange students coming to stay with us, new awkward moments, new thoughts, new schools, new me, new them, new....everything.

i don't really know how to deal with this because it does suck, but i feel like doing anything would be that final nail in the coffin.

Damnit, when did the simple things i had get so difficult (not bitching, just stating a change)

flabergasted

Damn. I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

Just trying to go with my gut and see where it takes me.

Too bad I can't take it all back.

I'm just...disgusted.

Oh well, gonna try and make this the best damn musical yet.

Currently Watching Hook By Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins, Maggie Smith see related

hmmm

flowing too fast to grab a hold

sifting through signals and thinking their thoughts

endless seas of gray indecision

shitty poetry that poignantly points out my flaws

when did this snowball become a giant avalanche of death?

i think it's all about to come crashing down

and i cannot bear this weight.

filled to the brim, i soon might just explode